Surrender. What does it mean?
Many people are afraid of the word surrender because they think it means not trying or lowering your standards. They think that surrender means failure or giving up. But this is far from the truth.
Surrender is the belief that when we relax our expectations, and become detached from specific outcomes we can open ourselves up to new and potentially wonderful experiences that truly are in our best interest. Surrender is the belief that things go more smoothly when we are open and allow things to happen instead of making them happen. When we work in a spirit of surrender it doesn’t mean inaction, it doesn’t mean not having any goals, instead it means being pulled into the direction that is best for us. So many of us spend too much energy pushing ourselves into circumstances and scenarios that really are not what we want.
This is when you get the promotion, but soon are bored and resentful of all the long hours and new responsibilities. This happens when you find someone and rush to the alter only a few years later to find your self looking at your partner and asking yourself what was i thinking?” This happens when you have the big house and the new car and all the gadgets and gizmos and you’ve finally caught up with the Jones, but you have no joy, no passion, no love for life. This happens when you spend all of your time in the past or in the future, instead of staying present in the now.
Our bodies are the biggest clues to if we are surrendering or if we need to be in control. When we are consumed with control, we feel tense and tight, we have health problems, our adrenaline is working over time and our thoughts are scattered. We are overwhelmed with all we have to do and how busy we are, we tend to be short with people and can be set off easily.
But when we are in surrender we have a spirit of peace and we are present in the moment. We can relax and have clarity. We tend to be more creative because we are not obsessed with what is “right” or what we “should” do. We have patience and we are connected to our true intentions. We believe that we can handle whatever comes our way because we are confident that we are guided. So Surrender sounds so good, why does it remain so hard?
Fear is the biggest enemy of surrender.
We fear that we won’t be able to handle what ever happens if we surrender, we fear we will make a mistake, we fear others will judge us, we fear we will be left behind while others move on.
So what do we do with this fear?
We can ask ourselves two defining questions.
1. Ask yourself if this really true?
Often what we fear will happen is farfetched and actually very unlikely to happen, but we continue to let it control us. If it is something that can happen accept that it might and rest in the knowledge that if this would happen you have the strength and innate wisdom to handle it. Don’t self yourself so short, you are a magnificent human being, part of a humanity that has a long history of overcoming, conquering , and turning defeats into triumph.spend more time connecting to that spirit in you then giving in to your fears.
2. Can you really control this?
So many of us try to control things we have absolutely no control over.
Will there be nice weather on the day of the party?
Will our children be healthy?
Will the government raise our taxes?
The only thing we can control is ourselves. Putting our energy and our focus on become the best human being we can be is far more productive and will produce much better results then worrying about uncontrollable things ever could!
The journey toward surrendering is life long and we have to do it over and over again.
Even when we think we have surrendered, we need to surrender some more.
It is the path to connect with our true desires and intentions.
It is the path to connecting with our true selfs.
It is the path to living authentically.
It’s a path you can choose today.